She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
