I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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