My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Girls should come with a carfax report
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
