Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
