so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
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Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
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note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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