i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
