Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
