that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
