I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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