Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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