why im i the only drunk person in the library?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
