bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
