Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
