I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
