Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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