Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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