Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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