Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize