How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
