guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
