Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
