WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
