I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
