i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
