so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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