I swear she didn't look like that last week.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Randomize
