he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize