one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
