STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
