she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
