She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
