I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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