Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
