Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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