Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
