I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
