Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
A+ Viking dick
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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