I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
