I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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