rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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