4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
whose ass print is on the piano?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
did you just send me my own nude
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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