My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
