im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
