I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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