What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
