I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
wakey wakey hands off snakey
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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