Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
