the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
