If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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