Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
