God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
