i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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