i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize
