in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
