Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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