Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
