i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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