I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
