Dual....:-)
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
