Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
