Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
